The Resolute
This blog won't die. No matter how many times I've tried to erase it from memory, it persists; it endures and, much to my chagrin, becomes relevant and necessary every now and again. It's a time capsule full of memories that may have blurred or faded. It is both pointless and useful; a reminder of failed attempts at "changing my life." No one changes their lives. Most people may try a great many different things and experiences in their lives but they end up remaining the same. It is also an invisible odometer marking how far I've come. I can't say I have accomplished much but I have lived. I've loved. I've lost. I've made mistakes and learned from some of them. We know a thing or two about a thing or two. I can't even say it's a relevant blog. Very few people have ever even read it but that doesn't matter because I don't write it for you. I write it for me.
More often than not, I need to heed my own counsel and follow my own advice. It's great to know that I have a window to my own wisdom...if I'm ever fortunate enough to jot that knowledge down, that is. Sadly, not only am I lazy but my memory isn't quite what it once was. Not that it was ever much of anything. Moreover, I, as a full-fledged adult, have discovered that I am, in fact, maturing because of these little recorded moments. What I used to believe when I wrote on a particular subject might not necessarily be the views I relate to today. Surprisingly, I'm cool with that. One thinks themselves absolute and unwavering in their goals and ideals in their youth. However, age, experience and the wisdom that comes from both are both a patient teacher and a brutal instructor. This blog, my blog, when read from start to finish is pure chaos. Ideas and goals are mixed in with routine and milestones. It is an ordered arrangement of random thought. Organized chaos.
I can't help but feel it emulates my life. It's like a sailing ship with no particular horizon to chase. Just the journey and a faithful crew working the ropes and recording copious notes about the voyage. It both explores uncharted shores and wanders aimlessly over an oftentimes chaotic sea. For far too long, I thought I had to be somewhere by now or have discovered something along the way. Something important. However, I'm just wandering and I'm cool with that. That, in and of itself is important. So...no resolutions this year. Just more aimless meandering.
This ship won't sink.
This blog won't die and neither will I.
More often than not, I need to heed my own counsel and follow my own advice. It's great to know that I have a window to my own wisdom...if I'm ever fortunate enough to jot that knowledge down, that is. Sadly, not only am I lazy but my memory isn't quite what it once was. Not that it was ever much of anything. Moreover, I, as a full-fledged adult, have discovered that I am, in fact, maturing because of these little recorded moments. What I used to believe when I wrote on a particular subject might not necessarily be the views I relate to today. Surprisingly, I'm cool with that. One thinks themselves absolute and unwavering in their goals and ideals in their youth. However, age, experience and the wisdom that comes from both are both a patient teacher and a brutal instructor. This blog, my blog, when read from start to finish is pure chaos. Ideas and goals are mixed in with routine and milestones. It is an ordered arrangement of random thought. Organized chaos.
I can't help but feel it emulates my life. It's like a sailing ship with no particular horizon to chase. Just the journey and a faithful crew working the ropes and recording copious notes about the voyage. It both explores uncharted shores and wanders aimlessly over an oftentimes chaotic sea. For far too long, I thought I had to be somewhere by now or have discovered something along the way. Something important. However, I'm just wandering and I'm cool with that. That, in and of itself is important. So...no resolutions this year. Just more aimless meandering.
This ship won't sink.
This blog won't die and neither will I.
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