God Hates Quitters
It's been a quiet night. Externally, anyways. My mind is racing. It's at Mach 2 and going faster by the minute. Got too much on my mind. I love my job but sometimes, on days where my mind is restless, the sweet somber silence of the Stonehenge lobby can be deafening. It amplifies the chaos in my head. Nothing but chaos and turmoil echoing off of every corner of my skull. My mind is a battlefield. All of my problems are constantly bombarding me and one another. Sometimes, they all blur into one big beating.
I'm broke and I've got more bills and debts to pay than I can even get into. I have municipal tickets to pay. One of which I forgot about from awhile back and, since I didn't pay it in a timely manner, I inadvertently got my mother's license suspended. (Way to go! Son of the year, you are not!) The cable is out and thus, so is my Internet. Ergo, NO X-BOX! My medication for a foot problem is almost depleted and I don't know if I'll have money to afford the refill. On top of that, the meds are a cortisone of some kind so they're also making me fat. (Ok! Fatter! I know it's my laziness that's making me fat but the F'N side effects aren't helping.) My cell phone is a peace of crap and only let's me utilize it when it feel like it. I'm trying to start a business venture with my sister but have no start up capital. I took a vacation from work a few weeks ago but I haven't actually been anywhere since I moved Danielle to Miami damn near 2 years ago and I really miss travelling. Oh! And did I mention I'm broke? It is extremely difficult to get laid with a meager $5 in your pocket!
And yet, somehow, I'm still upbeat. I'm actually, surprisingly optimistic about the rest of this year. I've met a lot of new friends and caught up with some old ones. I'm even crushing on somebody. (However, it's becoming ever-increasingly apparent that Crush Street is a ONE WAY!) I'm actually setting some realistic goals for 2012 including some much needed travelling and exploring. I've, obviously, found some inspiration to write again. Dare I say, I'm happy!
However, I just wish I had an F'N break to tackle all of my problems one at a time. I hate it when I get avalanched with every major problem on the eastern-fucking-seaboard all at the same time! UGH! It's enough to make me want to quit. And I would too...I'd just have to spend the better part of the month looking up and trying to understand the meaning of the word.
I'm broke and I've got more bills and debts to pay than I can even get into. I have municipal tickets to pay. One of which I forgot about from awhile back and, since I didn't pay it in a timely manner, I inadvertently got my mother's license suspended. (Way to go! Son of the year, you are not!) The cable is out and thus, so is my Internet. Ergo, NO X-BOX! My medication for a foot problem is almost depleted and I don't know if I'll have money to afford the refill. On top of that, the meds are a cortisone of some kind so they're also making me fat. (Ok! Fatter! I know it's my laziness that's making me fat but the F'N side effects aren't helping.) My cell phone is a peace of crap and only let's me utilize it when it feel like it. I'm trying to start a business venture with my sister but have no start up capital. I took a vacation from work a few weeks ago but I haven't actually been anywhere since I moved Danielle to Miami damn near 2 years ago and I really miss travelling. Oh! And did I mention I'm broke? It is extremely difficult to get laid with a meager $5 in your pocket!
And yet, somehow, I'm still upbeat. I'm actually, surprisingly optimistic about the rest of this year. I've met a lot of new friends and caught up with some old ones. I'm even crushing on somebody. (However, it's becoming ever-increasingly apparent that Crush Street is a ONE WAY!) I'm actually setting some realistic goals for 2012 including some much needed travelling and exploring. I've, obviously, found some inspiration to write again. Dare I say, I'm happy!
However, I just wish I had an F'N break to tackle all of my problems one at a time. I hate it when I get avalanched with every major problem on the eastern-fucking-seaboard all at the same time! UGH! It's enough to make me want to quit. And I would too...I'd just have to spend the better part of the month looking up and trying to understand the meaning of the word.
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